Midget sex pt 2 tonight
The good thing about walking home in a dress on sunday morning is that people mistake my walk of shame as a walk to God.
NExt question... Do i wanna sleep under my palm tree
YES.
does it count as a threesome if she tried to blow the dude who was passed out next to us?
Weekday college schedule so far: get high as tits. Watch Family Guy marathons. Repeat.
Idk we were snorting lines and making out in the stall while these people were cheering us on, on the other side. And that's when I realized he wasn't the only guy in the girls bathroom.
True that.. I am going to ride a gold plated unicorn across a field of cocaine and coach purses when I graduate.
That was beautiful.
I mean technically the bite was both in my nose and on the outside of it. I thought I was going to need stitches or something.
Why was his mouth around your nose anyways?
It was just one of those nights, man.
I better not get a vid of you penile helicoptering
Well the other day she asked me how often I jerk off. So I guess things are getting semi-serious
GETTING HORNY AT RANDOM IS REALLY FUCKING INCONSIDERATE.
I sent my roommate a text from MY phone that said, "I don't know where my phone is." Must've been a good night.
We will let tequila do the talkin this weekend
Real life skills section of my resume: blow jobs, food knowledge trivia, sarcasm, mascaera application, sexting, tolerance of rail liquors
this is the second night in a row i've fucked a guy i met on craigslist. and it wasn't even a post for sex. i posted a housing ad. A HOUSING AD
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