I don't understand why she insists on me walking her to the door. She came over for literally 8 minutes, we had sex, and now I need her to leave. That fake chivalry will change nothing about the situation.
I jusy said out loud "gingers unite in the middle of the night"
Help i just walked in on mom blowing dad
So i decided to deal with the awkwardness of last night by making out with all three of them
her underwear stopped being sexy when i saw her pubes sticking out of the top.
Sorry i'm not sorry i made out with your dad. It was father's day weekend, get a grip
He invited you over for Super Sexy Saturday and Cosmos... I'm pretty sure that's gay
Explain to me how it was that you spent the entire night playing pool with three lesbians and did not get a foursome out of it.
She climbed through the window and into my bed. Not even sure who she is. Was thinking she might be a friend of yours?
I love you. Thanks for all the blowjobs.
On monday, while we were having crazy monkey sex, I earned $82. Vacation pay rocks.
Just at the gym drinking. We call it treadmillcolada
You were just so carefree! People were like, "there's broken glass everywhere" and you were just like, IDGAFFFFFFF
Letting Freddy Krueger eat me out = HAPPY HALLOWEEN TO ME!!!
Hypothetically speaking how does one remove a lamp that they hypothetically superglued to the ceiling?
Acetone nail polish remover, and you lied about studying last night didn't you?
Oh definitely.
Randomize
