Uh i was pretty wasted sat, so if i was weird it wasnt me. It was just vodka bein weird w my phone
Tonite tequila might call you
Be prepared
What kind of poor, pathetic town do we live in where a horny teenage girl is sitting in her basement on a saturday night, unlaid?
The worst part is I think my tongue cut his penis and now he wont talk to me.
There's a girl at 7-11 apologizing for her behavior and asking if she can get her shoes back.
he's doing fine. just headbutted the wall and threw up
There were penises being pulled out everywhere.
I just feel like a girl who's never eaten a pb&j probably doesn't swallow
just remembered spooning on the cardboard and confessing to each other we had the spins.
I shall welcome him into my body with an open liver and completely lay down all chance of resistance. Sweet Zeus, please take me to Mt. Olympus and share all that is divine. I promise, the secrets will be safe with me
I'm gonna play this game called Conquer the Dicks. I think it is self explanatory.
I'M SORRY THIS WAS SEXTING AND I MADE IT SERIOUS.
But I put cranberries and apples in my wine so it's festive drinking not suicidal drinking
you smell like vanilla and daddy issues
You made the lady who made your cheeseburger sign the box so that when she got famous you would have her autograph.
What the hell was that?
Genius. It was sheer genius.
Randomize
