Cool, see you soon... she just admitted to her friends that it was a queef.
I feel dirty and I went home alone. Bars should be like airlines and make fat girls pay double for everything.
The only thing that would make my night better is if William Shatner came and read me a bedtime story.
Would you want me to push you down the stairs OR throw you a baby shower?? Real talk
Graduating is kinda bittersweet. Now I'm gonna have to find another excuse to day-drink and sleep until 3pm besides "I'm in college."
One person in the car. Three blizzards. Alot of judging.
In class ... We were just assigned groups for the quarter... Remember that night we took shots from that guys pants? I now know his name
I'm taking her home. She just told a 90 yo woman in a packers hat to "suck her cock".
slut bingo starts in ten minutes ...
Your lack of great college experience of margaritas and foam parties scares me
hey dude my crackhead idol just taught me a great way to tie shoes
Dude she tried to bite my face off last night, literally. I have never actually felt like a piece of meat until that point in life...
I'm literally spending $165 to fly to Arizona to have a sex road trip coming back
I was taking this cougar home in the middle of the night I walked across the hall all naked to take a piss and ran into to some chick from highschool she said no way you are fucking my mom ran into her moms room and started yelling at her
I'm sorry about the fire. I was too fucked up to do science, apparently.
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