It was still light ouot when we were walking up Pier Ave and she kept asking if she could suck my nipples.
I put cups full of chips next to every bed, couch, and toilet so that everyone could have a snack when they woke up....
I just saw someone marching around outside wearing only a loincloth, dragging a fuckton of sheet metal. Spring has Sprung.
Idk what else to talk about besides you paying for half of my vaginaplasty.
Not sure why I sent you a picture of a black bear last night but it seemed like a good idea at the time.
This text is addressed to sober me: getting drunk by yourself may have seemed like a Good idea at first bit it can tell you that it wasn't ad fun as you thought it would be
Ps your lap top bag is FULL of empty beets
He makes this seasoned whore feel like a novice. I've met the one.
Not only did I get beyond cray cray this weekend. My body has nursed itself to plentiful and impeccable health. Fuck you world, I am back.
i'm hungover but need to study so i had a vodka orange juice, three ibuprofen and an adderall for breakfast. what up med school
I just want to nap and funnel a bottle of wine in a cute dress
Ok. I'm gonna smoke some weed and look at some elephants without you then.
He's been pretending to be gay for 3 months in order to get free weed.
we played his NES Classic. Turns out there is a warp zone to my vagina.
She caught me by google maps... Lets just say it wasnt her car in front of the house.
He walked upstairs in nothing but his boxers and drunkenly asked my brother for a condom....so much for a good first impression.
Randomize
