Sry I called you an 8
About to do something stupid. You'll be my call. Bring bail money.
Saw a pregnant woman get a lap dance last night. I love the south.
You stayed up for three hours wasted, feeding my rabbit 2 1/2 boxes of girl scout cookies.
well he has a gf so if he picks me up tonight i'll only him finger me
Honestly, I don't care if the only reason she gave me her beer was because she was bisexual and wanted to touch my vagina. Beer is beer.
At least I know she didn't hear me crawl to my room. Or did I walk on my hands? Fuck if I know.
A small child is toddling around the store, holding a coloring book and a shot glass. Thinking of you.
all i remember of last night is that i was drinking jameson and then NOTHING i do remember walking a dog though\nwhich is sooo fucking weird
OH MY GOD ITS COMING BACK I PUT THE DOG IN THE HOTTUB TOO
I waxed the left side of it and was in too much pain to do the right side so my crotch looks like cruella devil
I currently need breakfast in bed, morning sex, and a bourbon and diet coke. Make this happen
I was alternating between saying "yall need Jesus" and "God bless" the entire night
FUCK. EVERYONE MAKE MY CONTACT NAME DADDY ISSUES
My cats name is now jello shot. How much do you love me right now?
The cl.oudds are foaming a really big pen.Is OMG.
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