I found the orange juice, it was hiding in the vodka...trickster.
planned parenthood is perfect for picking up chicks...they all put out
I was on hold waiting for customer service at verizon so we obviously we had enough time to have sex, i just put the phone on speaker
She's riding a tiny four-wheeler and has a Dos Equis in her hand. I at least have to meet her.
He's drinking 50/50 vodka/water out of a camelback. Disaster would be a compliment at this point.
You me handle of captain and a sorostitute study sesh, if we don't get laid mancards must be relinquished
Well his arms broken so they only cuffed his good wrist to his belt. That's how he cast smacked me in custody.
We are trying to penis chicken awkward them out. But I think it's a gay wedding. Backfiring. Heavily.
Well. Now I feel like I put pants on for nothing.
We had sex on the playground and then walked around his neighborhood grading houses based on their Christmas decorations
Basically one minute I'm sucking on her nipples and then 45 mins later we're at work and she's my boss.
I offer naked tickle fights and orgasms and you call it trouble. I call that Christmas.
woke up hungover this morning lying in a water raft covered in water.. i dont know if i should consider this good or bad
i found you passed out on the floor with a half-eaten pie. i figured youd be the last person to care if i went and banged your sister
Its like he got lessons from Jesus on how to use his tongue. And his dick.
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