Cool, I just put that together. I didn't know if using a tie-died sub machinegun was too crazy
If for any reason you were wondering if i was going to vomit at the airport today, the answer is yes.
Bought two parrots for us. I'm keeping them at the Bellagio.
You are too young to settle down enjoy your life. The window to get drunk and have casual sex with strangers gets smaller by the day.
Sorry about sucking tonight. Drunk truck fucking is apparently not my strong point.
This is most sickening thing I've ever seen, and I threw up my body weight in jello shots on my birthday.
I fucking hate tequila. Tequila makes me hate pants.
is it weird that our first time having sex was makeup sex?
He made the moves first, we made out...then we folded his laundry.
Also, can next Friday be Long Underwear Friday instead of Jockstrap Friday? Because I'm about to cough up a testicle.
Oh my fucking god, I was conceived on the first date.
I can't hangout tonight, I have a phone sex appointment at 10
This drink tastes like mosquito repellent.
the police dropped me off. that's how my night went.
not being a booty call is very strange. Who knew there was so much time for activities at night!
Randomize
