threw up in a bar last night and got laid on an air mattress. my bucket list just got a lot shorter
Just got physical proof that at 6 am i was running around with raw potatoes threatening to mash them on his floor. Hello, Mobile uploads
sometimes when i'm drunk i choose the spanish option on the ATM to challenge myself.
i had to get the starbucks manager to open the bathroom door for me...you passed out on the floor, the things i do for you
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I apologize for getting really drunk, taking off my shirt, bitching someone out, crying, and breaking something at your party next weekend...
Just had the weirdest flashback. Did we buy melon, take it into the restaurant and try to make them give it to us as dessert?
She just flushed the toilet with her head inside it...
How was the party? Lets put it this way: "He wants her dick" was a factual sentence stated last night.
I just slipped on ice and peed on my pea coat. There's a pun there but I'm too sad to make it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm stuck in a tree and request your assistance ASAP
So, what my linguistics project should really be called is "I happen to sleep/makeout with a lot of bilinguals and am now using them to help me graduate"
Hella random but just hear me out...A bar that is a petting zoo. Bitches love petting zoos.
My tits became the mascot for the SAE house last night.
People trash cargo shorts, but I'm like, sorry I had room for beers and you didn't.
I'm pretty sure the cop knew you were drunk when you tried to light your cigg with a chapstick.
Randomize