i always forget guys have bellybuttons
its a vaginal recession for me, ill take what i can get
If he starts "inventing" things cut him off. The last thing he invented was chocolate chip green beans and he destroyed my kitchen
i'm just sitting here going through her tagged pics, covering up different parts of her face to try and figure out exactly what it is that makes her so ugly.
He tried to cuddle with me after we hooked up and i just looked at him and said why are you still here?
He's going to regret telling me he doesn't care if i shave or not...
The cab driver just showed us a POV shot of himself getting ridden by a chick he took with his flip phone. Confirmed not taken in cab. Gonna be a good night...
Just did a relay race involving shotgunning beers, cannonballs and riding a blowup whale. Never want to leave vacation.
The last time I thought I had a UTI, I ended up having herpes. Sooo.. This time in preparing myself for cancer or death.
I am tired of banking on my penis size to overcome my lack of game.
Those drunk pictures you took of me? My mom is showing those to my grandparents.
She looks like a hot George Washington...I'm going for it
I was going to learn how to knit but I got high instead.
Because sadly the idea of me having a girlfriend is crazy enough to be an April fools prank
I don't know, all I remember is waking up at 4 in the morning to him going down on me.
Randomize
