Just tipped at a bar in cheerios. Suck it.
He gave me an orgasm with his left hand...and he's right handed. Of course he's a keeper.
I'll report later on the progress of the mountain orgy
Made myself shower before I'd masturbate. I probably should have wined and dined myself too, but that's pushing it too far.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
That chick went from zero to shitshow in only 6 shots.
It's like your nipple is comforting my nipple.
you showed up at my door at 3am, handed me a bag of cold chicken nuggets and said "lead me to the non-irish Siobhans," do YOU think you were tripping?
So tomorrow I have my performance review with my boss who I banged. When I go in should I ask if this review will be rating my sex or work performance?
I woke up in someone's flat in Budapest and then got offered a free piercing before I left. Best. Hookup. Ever.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Then a third Canadian I didn't know showed up to the hotel room at like 3am. I let him sleep in our bed because he had pizza.
I've never been so excited to have my ass in so much pain.
I sucked his dick by a creek, how romantic.
If you binge watch Bill Nye Saves the World without me you can consider yourself single
I swear to god, no guy has been as interested in sticking stuff up my butt as this girl
I'm at the drive thru window, five minutes out. If the bathtub is empty or you're dressed when I arrive I'm not sharing.
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