I want to dip my vagina in sugar. Not only will it be sweet, but it will have a nice sparkle.
yeah that always happens. i'm like the where's waldo of parties. i never even know where the fuck i'm at.
She got a digital picture frame for her birthday. FINALLY - a place for me to sneak all those penis shots I've taken with my iPhone.
It's a 2 hour train ride a 7 in the morning, of course we're bringing alcohol
he's measuring my pool to see how much jello powder he needs. He got paid today.
ever have one of those nights where you feel like you should leave the house with your insurance card? that is tonight, my friend.
I lull them into a false sense of security with my gayness. Then when they're vulnerable, I strike, like a snake. A big non-gay snake, with huge balls.
We thought it was a good idea to send a picture to our HS science teacher where she's smoking a joint and I'm holding a monkey, and he invited us to lunch. NEW LEVEL UNLOCKED.
I can't. I'm not drunk enough for this information.
I haven't filled him in on Operation "find a sugar daddy & suck dick for money" yet, but I'm sure he just wants me to be happy.
don't do it for the experience, do it for the story. now get your ass in that bedroom
You should just skip the small talk from now on and instead say something like "You need to come slay the dragon, be here in 15?"
a victory without nudity is not really a victory
Are we DOING anything for lunch...if sex is involved, let's just be straight forward and stop wasting the first half hour! We just need to get to the point
also, I think I lit my hair on fire when I got home..
I was singing Colors of the Wind and swigging vodka and still felt like more of an adult.
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