I'm not working tomorrow. need to take advantage of the last opportunity for weeks of morning sex.
they have pregnancy tests at the dollar store
I feel like that is one of those things that you should not cheap out on.
he put a lighter in my cleavage and said "you're like another pocket!"
He came in asked for the bathroom and came out 10 minutes later dripping wet took his redbull and left.
That's why she's the girl with her life together and you're the girl with the penis drawn on your car.
I'm sad your dog died... Her name is my stripper name.
It was tug of war between me and the cop. He wanted the beer, I wanted the coozie.
On another note, convinced a 9 year old my hickey was actually a zombie bite.
yo btw licking skeptical coke off table right now
Our foot and a bit height difference is kinda fun, except she's so tiny that after we ate burritos it looked like she was pregnant. I had a confusing bonner.
Do you think you could handle being our babysitter if we roofied ourselves for fun??
Don't send me heart emojis when you're jacking off.
right now I am washing the alcohol and shame off from last night
She looked like a cross between Jesus and John Lennon. So I fucked her. I feel majestic and powerful.
It was like a single vaginal boat in a sea of one eyed monsters
Randomize
