i kno its fucked up..but id rather sleep it off than seek medical attention right now
I just saw a 3 year old try to break out of a daycare by driving a big wheel at full speed into a metal gate. Today is going to be epic.
she moaned out jack bauer's name while i was banging her...
She tased me when I walked in the door. Thought I was trying to steel her weed.
But on the up side she uprooted a whole peony plant from the hotel downtown and said, "I brought you flowers"
Bank of America: Available balance is $546.25 on 03/04/2011 for account 8428. Go online for details. TextSTOPtoStop/TextHELPforHelp
i loe djcudia fjxos rue.
I had some like war flashbacks of giving someone a handjob and i was trying to figure out who it was.
I'm wearing your poncho, and only your poncho. I'm not getting pulled over like this.
When we were done making out, some guy ran into the room yelling, "I'll save you Brandon! I'll save you!"
It looks like I promised him my virginity, in spanish. What the hell did you give me?
Let me tell you how my drug dealer wants me to take his girlfriends little sister to jr prom
When she asked why I felt bad I said that it may have had something to do with the gin and cold pizza I had for breakfast.... And then I reflected on what my life has become.
So after the absinthe shots_____(fill in the blank area for me please)......
Probably shouldn't be looking at memes at my grandmother's funeral
The amount of illegal things I've done this weekend is astounding.
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