We fucked twice, I went to the bathroom to freshen up, and came back to him playing "Your Body is A Wonderland" on his guitar naked in my bed.
I am now the proud owner of a 10-12 year old's Optimus Prime costume from Walmart. Tomorrow is going to be a good day.
They pulled him over whille he had a fish tank full of beer in his front seat. He told them it coudn't count as an open container cause the top was on it.
Ive created a fbook group called "threesome" and invited two girls. Im not going to say a word and just see what happens.
The only good thing about trampolines when you're fucked up is the gushing blood really cleans all the bad coke out of your nose.
man, work is way more interesting with these acid flashbacks.
right before he passed out he said "take care of your tender spirit"
THERE WAS A HANDPRINT OF BLOOD ON HIS SHOULDER
Sweetie, don't go home with him. You can do so much better. Everyone else at the bar agrees.
Find me a date. With a beard. I want him to rub his beard on my tits. I'm not even into that stuff but I think it'd be so warm.
I don't care how hungry or impatient you are. the highest setting on the microwave is 100% and you better not take it appart to add power. This is not the Enterprise.
So we were in bed when his brother walks in, walks over to me, fist bumps me and says he just wanted to say hi, then leaves...so random lmao
Dude your life.. At your sugar daddies house sending nudes to your fwb
If he doesn't fuck you on the 4th of July, he doesn't really love this country.
I didn't have any choice but to cuddle you. Your hair was stuck on my nipple piercing.
Randomize
