We did face masks and fucked...he really isn't gay, what they say about europeans is just true
I ended up in a shower with 9 people and a bunch of unopened beer last night. I think I got peed on. Hands were everywhere. We sold the peed on beer to people knocking on the hotel room door.
Wow, now I'm sad I didn't go.
Please tell me why 'cock-a-thon' was auto saved in my phone.
My stepdad and I just tag-team hit on a server at McDonald's. This is the man I should have grown up with.
She's on her way over to shave my year round sweater vest into a festive argyle sweater vest. Keeper?
Question. Was fucking Laura an entirely regrettable decision?
like...quickly.
The Medal of Honor you banged could be at the inauguration today. You really dropped the ball on keeping up with that one.
I got tossed from adult league soccer for telling a 55 year old I'd break his hip. I'm a productive member of society
Dude Carly, it's like, inconvinent how often you cause me to have an erection
Sorry bud. Having a shitty day because the GF broke up with my wife and I. We really liked her too
he told me to take care of him and then he asked me to walk him to his hotel. I already have a pussy. I don't need another one
That happens a lot to the people around me. It's like I'm radioactive but instead of cancer, you get desensitized to the word cunt
Yeah I'm just gonna shower and drink a gallon of coffee and drunkenly write my research paper. It'll be fine
I'm disease and pregnancy free. This is an Easter for the books!
Which emoticons convey sympathy for sleeping with someones bf ??
Randomize
