JoAnns office is warmer than mine. . .it must be because she has the gateway to hell under her desk.
she keeps a pillow, blanket, and a pack of saltines under the bathroom sink, for "rough nights".
I had no where to run... The dumpster sounded like a good idea at the time
St Patricks day needs to be raged like youve never raged before. Like youre in the desert and it starts raining beer. Like it's the day the announced the 21st amendment (which is the one that ended prohibition)
This essay is so getting done. I am spurred on by thoughts of test-driving your newly shaven face by sitting on it as soon as humanly possible.
You didn't hold all these dicks to become a party planner!
Can I borrow you for, like, thirty minutes so you can lay on one boob and rub the other until I fall asleep?
You were supposed to behave this weekend.
But... naked.
She just left someone a voicemail saying 'you better not have plans Saturday night, cause I'm going to sit on your face.'
i just had diarrhea that people from the 1930's would have died from
Well I just had a flashback of something I did in the 4th grade. Now I can't go back to sleep.
I couldn't find my hair brush so I just brushed my hair with a cat brush. I should not be dating.
also, i'm not sure if i'm proud to say this but our regional manager's hot fiance was grinding on me at the reception while he stood and watched.
i suppose that explains why he told me he plans on promoting you this Friday.
Left him blackout in the cab, gave 20$ to the cabbie and said drive until the meter said he wasn't getting a tip.
Bangkok has him now.
Do u believe in the possibility of big foot?
You high??
Randomize
