Just saw 2 very young girls abandon baby buggys in the Xwalk to fight. Gotta love Holyoke.
i pretty much saved your life. you were so conviced that your nail polish remover bottle was "Vodka Lemon"
I'm literally partying with O.J. Simpson's son right now. I don't know what to make of this.
I look like a herd of wild horses chewed on my back. If you bite me again while taking me from behind, I'm going to have to cut you off.
Her exstacy made her nickname everyone David. Nobody knows who the fuck she's talking to so we just say no to everything she says. She's crying.
I've been ignoring his texts cause last night I put him in my phone as 'ignore for atleast a day' and I trust my drunk self.
He tricked me into going on a double date with him, I don't like that he's not using me for just sex anymore
I decided that Calgary can keep my underwear. They earned it.
just found out I caught the bouquet at the wedding. I win for being the drunkest yet most functional bridesmaid.
He told me that if I were a guy he'd go gay for me. Honestly don't know how to take that.
You stared at the ground for like 20 minutes willing yourself to get sober
Dude I sat in the corner of the party bobbing my head and singing danger zone
DONT TALK SHIT ABOUT LUNCHABLES
The clothing optional portion of the night began around midnight. Then we did disgusting things to each other. It was beautiful.
I just told my bowl "sorry" for putting it down, because I thought I hurt its feelings. omg. I'm high.
Randomize
