There was this creepy guy on the bus. So I puffed out my stomach & began so hold my stomach like I was preggers.
taking a shot every time they compare curling to a real sport
after he gave me a diploma for giving him amazing head, getting a regular diploma isnt all that cool.
We can't have sex anymore. The amount of money I've spent on meds and copays for UTIs is getting ridiculous
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm not sure if doing him was such a good idea. Yes the sex was good, but I'm scared I set myself up for failure in 2011 because he's the hottest guy. Ever.
I will start puting down the plastic for the vom in our love chamber. If you want to be something or someone else for the night feel free. The theme is shit show.
I'm there.
new costume idea. paint swatches and a ball gag... I'll be 50 shades of grey.
I need a new pic for your contact id. Because your boobs popping up when I'm having dinner with my grandma or, ya know, when kids have my phone isn't so good.
I have to sanitize my nipples and its just to cold in here for it to be ok
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I will have you again some day my love. And our divorce will be magnificent
We made out a little and then he gave me some weed. I would say it was a pretty productive stop on my way home
And tan into my neighbor in the elevator. She was going to the gym. I was covered in mascara and dog hair eating a hash brown
do you think the dildo I'm bringing through airport security is considered a weapon?
Almost lost a vagina lip in the great shave of '16
you had her IN YOUR BED NO PANTS AND YOU GAVE HER THW BOOT?!?!?!
Stage five clinger bro. had to go.
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