i don't have parental supervision. i'm gonna start accepting candy from strangers now.
Just saw actual Chinese people doing a Chinese firedrill. Good day.
I'm more concerned as to why he has a playlist entitled Dem Club Beats.
I guess you can say it's a tradition... whoever brings home the ugliest guy has to do all the cleaning the next day
We've made a drinking game out of how many times the tornado sirens go off. We're good at tornado safety.
I had no where to run... The dumpster sounded like a good idea at the time
Just heard one of my friends say, "if you're trying to take advantage of me I really dont care. I just want this beer." ..
It's a little weird that I'm blowing my wingman.
As a heterosexual male nursing student, the odds are ever in my favor. My first semester has basically been The Horny Games. I've killed almost all of the competitors at this point.
I'M SORRY THIS WAS SEXTING AND I MADE IT SERIOUS.
I got dropped off at my house at like 1030. Woke up hugging a street cat I've never seen before. Ended up drinking 260 oz of beer. 65 types. Then went out after blehhhhhh
Do you ever go take a shit and end up sitting on the toilet for like 45 minutes wondering what the fuck you're doing with your life?
Everyday my friend, everyday.
There’s a special place in hell for tall guys with small dicks
Legit hope my Trump humping Brother dies of this shit so I can stop pretending to still love him.
Eh, it could have been worse. I may or may not have been wearing a jedi cloak while getting my dick sucked.
Randomize
