If you don't sleep with him after showing him your thong with the bow, I am no longer on your side.
I'll listen to your side of the story when you stop being such a whore.
he had more hair on his balls then in my Easter basket
He' s half Black and half Italian, I finally asked...this penis maybe one for the records.
You will receive a large, large reward, worth much more than the actual phone you are holding, paid not only in cash but in sexual favors, if you return this phone! Please respond if you're interested in cash/sex/or just being a good person. Thanks and hope to hear from you soon!
So I met my girlfriends dad last night. Or should I say I re-met that mall cop that had to tackle me.
He just showed up with a bottle of wild turkey a half a can of coke and some marshmallows yelling "gobble gobble bitches" my roommates hate my cousin
Just ate a chocolate chip cookie upside down. This is what having a degree does for you.
He slapped my ass and his clap-on light turned on.
Why is the clock ticking so loud? Now I know how Captain Hook feels.
He walked up to anal ring toss like he was going to win you a teddy bear
Nothing like a little " am I gonna shit myself " to spice up the work day
I think I almost ran over some kid I went to high school with. Guilt factor: moderate to low.
Well yeah. But im not sure i trust the black out drunk high girl giving life advice
I accidentally brought up how there used to be a big tree in his yard, which I could only have known if I had been Google mapping his house.
Randomize
