He broke up with me by playing Lynyrd Skynyrd "Free Bird".
i know they say sex burns calories but i think i actually gained weight from just lying there for the whole 2 minutes
Well i just learned hong kong is a country...thank you olympics
I just witnessed two drunk midgets fighting over a graham cracker. I can die happy now.
I just realize today that I've dated three guys this year with their own blog. Ugh that's embarrassing.
But it was well worth it to see a man fly through the air in a beaver costume...
Drunkenly auctioned off my bed for 3 tequila shots
the meat mosque collapsed into the alcohol moat
I have to overdose on valtrex I had a rough weekend.
I woke up in your car in the McDonalds parking lot. What the hell happened to 'no man left behind'?
Nice. Don't spend your therapist's co-pay on Jaeger bombs.
they drunkenly created an obstacle course for the poor hamster and its ball.
Piecing together the sordid story from witness accounts and photographic evidence, courtesy of Fcebook. My night included Mojitos, lighting the bar on fire and declaring myself the Queen of Nerds when I stole someone's flashing tiara. Woke up this morning with a velvet cape and plastic scepter to match. Mojitos are awesome!
I'm gonna fight the coyote
Puked in my purse on my Uber ride home last night. Safe to say it's not a good idea to beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
Randomize
