and the mascot is a pinecone. its really no surprise that people here dont get laid
Yeaaah, so cabbie laughed at me, and said, "rough nite? Let me find you some music" . apparently OPP is the appropriate ride of shame soundtrack.
I didn't know there was such thing as a bad orgasm. Until him.
Ive waited a long time for a girl with prescriptions like yours.
I will seriously deflate and melt into the floor into a puddle of devestation, shame and vodka.
I dressed up as a breathalyzer test for Halloween; never had so many straight dudes blow me before!
WHEN DO I FOLLOW THESE PEOPLE. I WOKE UP THIS MORNING &FOUND TWEETS FROM ILLUMINATI AND "hot shot 6th grader"
Teaching my class, used paper clips to fix my hair. Too hungover to be a kindergarten teacher.
Beans, may the odds of a nip slip and drunken make out session be ever in your favor
I think someone cast a spell on the lazy stoner rich boy stereotype and it came to life and called me.
She rode my dick so hard I momentarily lost hearing. I guarantee I had the better St Patrick's.
IT'S LIKE LOOKING INTO GOD'S VAGINA!!!!
Hey I'm at the gym and I need your personal trainer help. Also can you send me that picture of me eating a sausage. I want to post it on instgram.
He just sent me a picture of multiple chickens eating in his kitchen... should I be worried
So...#1 on my TO DO list for college is to fuck someone somewhere in the stadium during the homecoming game...you down?
Randomize
