i am only reminding you that showing off your fellatio skills on vegetables is probably not an appropriate party trick
Just turned elections for the sorority into a drinking game. Right on.
soooo we both peed the bed last night...
Spent the last thirty minutes staring at the wall with Leah. It's definitly moving
I woke up to his gay cousin telling me I had the prettiest boobs. I don't even wanna know.
I really want to lead this Amish guy into temptation
I'm at work, and just realized I the beer smell I keep getting random whiffs of is my bra. I fail at life.
Kyle found me outside his apartment in the hallway. Said he didn't hear me knock bt smelled alcohol through the door. I'm sucha bitch to my liver
Are there any rules against fucking the hot TA?
Maybe for her....
Her problem, not mine
It's not even 6 am and I've already told my mom to fuck herself in the face
He said he looked out his window and I was sitting in the grass with blood everywhere talking to a dog.
It was the needle in the haystack of teary, unpleasant handjobs.
And the last thing I remember was you in the bed with the german guy screaming "wrong hole" I laughed n passed out
My throat is burning
Thats because you proceeded to drink the salsa because you thought it was alcohol...dumbass
condom fairy costume came in handy...we were making out in my living room and he wanted it so i took a condom off the costume and we did it right there...with my tutu still on....
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