Go study a dick amy that's outrageous
Where did you get a picture of my penis
I would kick you in the vagina but I'm afraid I would lose my shoe.
The midget we rented got so drunk last night he got carted off in an ambulance
I just cut my nipple shaving
I can't go out tonight. I feel like I'm starting to party as much as Farrah on Teen Mom.
she got pretty angry when i tried to superglue her fingers together.
Then, he just started shoving orange pieces in my mouth as a chaser
She looked at me and said "i like penises." and then passed out with her condom balloon animal in her hands.
I cannot start working out. If I start to look better, I'll ruin ugly women's chances forever. So, really...I'm doing them a favor...think about it.
She kicked in my bedroom door in only high-heals with a bottle of wine, announcing it was "cock-o-clock"
I love you too! Remember NO alcohol or weed at my residence because of legal ramifications.
Whether ya want it or not, it's gonna happen. Assimilate to the gay
If you think hives from an allergic reaction to lube is funny, remind me to tell you the story about how I got a black eye from masturbating.
It's ok, I did squats with my bottle of wine before I opened it. That counts as the gym since I won't be getting there haha
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