so he went down on me and i thought i heard him say "you're smelly" to my vagina
i got awkward and finally asked him what he said
he actually said "you want some dick?" to my vagina. which is worse? either way he's talking to it
he just had his sister send me a message about how he's not a creeper
Was his mother too busy breastfeeding him to do it?
hahaha Yeah oh well, she wrote on my facebook wall, That's almost like a digital hand job
got them to do a wheelbarrow of shame down the sidewalk after the threesome. I rule
Showering in the handicapped shower. Im THAT hungover.
Accidentally spilled a drink on her roommates skirt, offered to clean it, and got a blowjob out of the deal. Something went horribly right.
dude they had a "sorry for partying" wall in their house which consisted if all the hospital bills, tickets, detox receipts and court orders they've gotten. The ENTIRE wall was covered.
im sober
you just pulled your sweatpants out of your bag and thanked them for being alive
6 beers and it feels like I've been drinking water... Daiquiri time
Everything was cool until I tried to photo bomb those Hells Angels, then it's all a blank
Hooked up with an ex Playgirl model. I feel like the universe just high-fived me for staying sober.
I woke up with my wool blanket soaking wet on the dorm room floor, and my sweatshirt hanging on the shower door down the hall. So basically my camp-out-in-the-bathroom idea didn't turn out as planned
He had a cruise ship of a dick and I need to set sail on that ocean again
I love my cat. she doesnt judge when i stumble in my house drunk and pass out on my floor. my dog looks at me disappointed.
It was a crazy night: tears were shed, blood was spewed, and bottles were emptied.
Randomize
