Lavender boy was great at seduction and crappy in bed.
I wonder who the first pervert was, and if he would be proud of me for advancing his art form by so much
No it was after you showed us his fraternaty letters shaven out of your pubes
Apparently as she was dragging me out of the club, I was clinching onto this european guy screaming at Jenna: that's the 12th time you've cockblocked me tonight
I just hate that one day I'll have to tell our children how we met, makes me look like a gold digging whore
Just found an unopened tied g of coke on the floor in her room... she thinks the maintenance guy dropped it earlier today. This takes the cake for sketchiest apartment.
I suppose I should wish you a happy one year of bumping uglies
Benefits of having to stay in jail for the weekend: learned how to make my own make up out of colored pencils. Also how to make use of toothpaste for hair products. Downfall was probably getting hit on by a murderer. Only me.
Split a bottle of Johnny Walker and then decided to eat a shit ton of peanut butter. That was a rough bed to wake up in
At leat we can cross off 'having sex in a classroom' on our bucket list.
I'm slowly getting to where I don't hate people anymore.
Never mind. Some random dude just walked past me and asked if I was having fun. I snarled at him. I might still kinda hate people.
Please come to class. I miss you and I have a horse mask
Went as "Party on, Wayne." And left as, "Partied out Wayne in a foot boot with new medical bills." Fuck Halloween...and vodka.
i feel like every weekend turns into a giant blur of i dont want to know...
Yeahh. im on the phone with him drunk. he told me he found a pigeon in a cardboard box and named it quincy...
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