what do kids with lesbian moms do for father's day? like do you talk about it? is it awkward? do you get the butchy mom a card?
i hope kanye doesn't show up to patrick swayze's funeral. " i'll let you get back to your funeral in a minute...but michael jackson had the best death of the year. just sayinnn ".
He ended up letting us go, I think he just felt sorry for us. It's the only time that my night's gotten worse after I've taken my pants off.
Um of course I blew him. He brought me a shamrock shake. It was two o’clock in the morning on St. Patrick’s Day. There was no smoother move basically. He totally earned that head.
I fell asleep on the bus and woke up in Italian Las Vegas. Europe was a successful continent for me.
By the taste of his semen he isnt vegetarian and therefore lied to me to take me home on a brighter note i stole his fondue set
Guess I'll put him on my to-do list too. But closer to the bottom since we dated before. That's almost unethical.
Someone broke into my car and stole it then left me $300 to pay for the damages with a lovely note that said "we just couldn't pass up the boxed wine... Sorry about the window."
How did I roll 7 times this month and survive?\nI must be some sort of ecstasy goddess
I'm so happy I'm only on my second drink. That would have been the best idea ever if I was on my fifth.
Just watched my entire extended family eat salad out of the bowl i threw up in last night.
I mean, unless you wanna just let me lie there while you fuck me and pour water into my mouth
This is the perfect outfit to do ketamine in, I must say
I 100% barfed while bumping the DMX remix of reading rainbow
why is there a thong in the fridge-NOT MINE-and a half of a pickle on the stairs?!
I don't wear thongs. The picle was for dipping. Ill explain later. Lacy or plain thong ?
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