1:32a: I quit. signing up for eharmony. Don't judge
Youre a pretentious asshole and im not sure who you think you are. Get the hell over yourself and the self righteous culture snob image because its pretty obnoxious.
I don't want to have to wonder if I'm draining my pasta in the same side of the sink you pissed in
My one night stand found me at the library and randomly gave me plan B. He was scared I was going to get pregnant because he has a very high sperm count.
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Then he took his girlfriend's fuzzy handcuffs and locked me to their bed. Key is in an unknown location. He's surprisingly idiotic, for being premed.
Haha o man how much you've grown. From beer bonging wine and wearing cargo shorts to well, beer bonging beer and wearing cargo shorts
If I don't have herpes this will be the single greatest day of my life
I have now slept with people from more countries than Ive actually visited. Can we make this a game somehow? Like foreign fuck buddy bingo?
They wouldn't let me hang out the sun roof and sing apple bottom jeans in the drive thru of hardee's i think i no longer like these ppl
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i feel like there is just so much pressure to sex him up, its like the weight of the world is on my vagina.
No, it's cool, I just bounced from the hospital. I was...talking to a security guard, maybe?
Tomorrow's Mother's Day and the only thing I can afford is beer and the McDonalds dollar menu. Do you think a Budweiser and a Big Mac says thank you for me fucking up your life since 1990?
We had sex and he ended up in the hospital... don't know if I should be worried or proud.
So TMI but just realizing I have not masturbated since trump took office. He's sucked the sex drive out of me.
i had to call him over, it was my last chance at getting some tonight
HE HAS A RESTRAINING ORDER AGAINST U!!!
it expires tomorrow
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