Dude ur right that IS what a vagina looks like!
Do everybody a favor and GET LAID MORE.
i was hoping the water fountain would somehow shoot out vodka this morning
You remember that guy Joey? The pastors son that plays Jesus every year?
Yeah?
Stuck it in his pooper.
TAing a class of 300 froshies and being so hungover I forgot a bra is my way of making dreams come true.
Just re-gained consciousness in the freshman girls dorm. Normally this would be awesome but I'm on the floor surrounded by chicks doing their homework. This makes me uncomfortable but I don't think they know I'm awake yet. If I b-line for the door can you come get me?
I'm bringing vagina and cookies. You'll be fine.
I find it worrying that she bit me in bed. Then proceeded to write her name in bite marks. All without ever losing the rhythm of our fucking.
dude Steve you don't even know. its just been one hairy asshole after another.
Can't talk right now. I'm doing tequila shots with my professor at some Mexican bar. That's how I prepare for finals.
My family will be here in an hour and I'm deciding between doing my makeup or saying fuck it and wearing what's left of last night's...
Want to get drunk and look at an xray of my dick?
you said "how could you not want to hook up with me when I have these abs" and then proceeded to rip your shirt off in the middle of the bar. I'm pretty sure you were hammered.
JESUS
Don't forget Giraffe in your car! If we show up in the same outfit without animal heads we're just gonna look weird.
I need a moral compass that doesn't always point to dick
Reverse road head. Sa-witch!!!
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