Hey, do you have a beer bong you could drop off at my little brother's place?
Dude, TWO hot chicks on jeopardy tonight. gonna be a good one
Dude, I am so turned on right now. Hot chick with glasses from brooklyn is absolutely crushing right now, taking whole categories. might beat off to jeapordy...
do another line during during the commercial and make the magic happen during double jeopardy.
Best look from Detroit today: running across the street with your buttcheeks on display carrying a 40 oz. Or maybe being crazy-pregnant and screaming and slamming a pay phone. Toss up.
I just love slightly exposed cleavage. Not too much to be whory but just enough to say "your kids will never go hungry"
Oddly enough when I decided to stop whoreing myself out... I lost most of my companionship.
I was sleeping on the bathroom floor and thought a wet towel might keep me warm.
I'm so glad I got to use the word gutterslut before 11:00a today.
Will you please bring your dog over today? Apparently I was drunkenly cooking last night. There's food everywhere. I'm too hungover to clean.
You've been drinking wine and eating bacon all afternoon. HOW IS THAT DOING GOOD?!?!
We could make it cute. Like "oh those two cute lesbians who are about five foot two who sell the cocaine down the street. You know the ones? With the Yorkies?"
i woke up soaking wet with shard of glass imbedded in my flesh dangerously close to my dick what happend?!!
BEER BOTTLE SWORD FIGHTHING!!
She ran from her surprise party screaming "I'm not ready for an intervention." Yeah, the girl has a problem.
I haven't had to masterbate since I started dating him over a year ago. I don't even know if I remember how and my vagina is calling.
well apparently i sat in the bathroom staring in the toliet at my vomit. it was blue. how was your night?
If I didn't have booty calls, my apartment would never get clean
Randomize
