Come with me and I'll find you a girl. What's your type?
Vagina
Considering the face that your still in jail Im gunna go with no.
mornings like this make me wish i was morman.
I like daylight savings. I don't care if it's 4 oclock it's not daydrinking if it's dark out
seek help.
I only broke up with her because the ex sex is amazing. She will do ANYTHING if i even hint at getting back together
I know I'm not the first to fuck in a park but i deserve props for doing it at 3pm. On a sunny day might I add.
The bouncer called to give me my shoes back when I got there he said " I'm all cool with fuvking bitches but when you try to to do it in my bar on the pool table you're gonna get chocked out every time"
At least you got your shooes
We got kicked out of the ice rink last night for drinking and checking strangers... but they let us keep the beer
I was grinding on people that were grinding. Nonconsensual.
Can you technically cross something off your bucket list if you don't, per say, remember it....?
I mean with a sentence like that I knew I would be cumming
It's has to do with my genitals. Don't ask.
I associate the Game of Thrones theme song with his dick now.
This is a friendly reminder to try not to shit on the toilet seat. If our 4 year old can manage it, I think you can too.
I am so so sorry I bit your butt last night. Twice.
Randomize
