White wifebeaters are like orgies with fat people. Enjoyable in private, i'm sure, but in public: no thanksss.
I'm at an open mic night and the next act is called 'the best creed cover band ever.' The guy i recently hooked up with is on bass.
you called me at 4 am to tell me you found the cracker barrel location where we'll have lunch next week
he came and i only had my diet coke to rinse.. can you say coke float?
The seats are awesome but you see two of each player.
I just want you to know that if I ever had to fight man eating flowers or flying turtles to save my friends they'd be fucked. No one's worth all that bullshit. PS I really need to stop playing Wii while drunk.
Me and a lesbian played "may the best man win" over a bi chick tonight... I lost, still fun though
I'm actually agreeing with glenn beck. What the FUCK was in that margarita?!
Do you think i can prewrite an apology on friday and leave it vague enough to just finish on sunday?
Bring enough bail money and little extra for tacos after
I thought monday through wednesday was a YOLO free zone.
Woke up naked next to Alex and he was braiding my hair and then commented on how healthy my hair was. I don't even know anymore..
Just had sex in the room next to my parents. Heading back to school ASAP.
Well if YOU HAVE TO KNOW, we're laying across the street from the bar on that grassy hill trying to see who's she's with at the bar.
theres a canoe in our lawn. we dont own a canoe.
it was the only safe place
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