I missed Saved by the Bell this morning, but Ashley in a later episode of Fresh Prince is keeping the morning wood alive.
she said "can't you just pull out and cum on my face? I hate scooping jizz out of my vag".
I'm assuming you texted me by mistake. you're not jizzing in or on me again, thanks for playing, douchebag.
My favorite part of the day is the 2 seconds of ignorance you have when you first wake up. Right before you remember where your mouth was last night.
I dont care how high you are, meat and sprinkles dont mix dude
She gave me a foot massage with her tongue. I think we're both scarred for life.
We played shuffleboard at the bar last night...another sign we are getting tooooo old.
it was pretty much a given that i would lose my thong on dollar tequilla shot night
It feels like I'm breathing out my heart and it spreads through my limbs to my fingertips.
I asked him if he wanted a pillow, and he replied "No. Batman never had pillows."
it is my last wish that my tale be published posthumously as a warning to anyone thinking of eating burger king at nine am
My Midnight Kiss was a Big Mac.. Happy New Year
For starters i called the cops on myself for trying to destroy the ladys decorations
Just peed on the front lawn of the capital building. Great American.
I didn't think you were that drunk until you were trying to rub your foot on my vag under the table at the thai place.
so i went to the bathroom and my thong was on sideways... i guess that solves the mystery
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