There is no excuse for watching a Jesse McCartney movie.
just because you are in college doesnt mean its okay to pregame easter mass.
Just made a photo collage of the girls I've hooked up with this summer. I'm patting myself on my back right now
I found out what happened to my eye. I punched myself in the face.
I just had to MC for a middle school event with jizz on my dress. I'm going to hell.
Took me 12 hours to be sober again. Shitshow mission accomplished
Your drinking has interfered with your drinking. I bet you could get a scholarship to a rehab. Thats pro-level
I'm currently trying to decide if crown or wild turkey will hurt worse coming back out through my nose later.
That bitch makes my crazy look like a walk in the park with cotton candy
After you tried speaking to him in whale you asked if you could see his "blow hole." That's how bad it was.
Thanks for that golden cinnamony goodness that flowed from your fake tits last night haha
Update: pile o Coke party starting at approx 4 - 7 and going until 1ish to celebrate our founding fathers and love of cocaine and hatred of everyone\n
I just bumped into this random I hooked up with a few years ago at Steve's party. Talk about a fingerblast from the past!
Are you sure you found YOUR underwear?
I tried making my own red bull with crushed up caffeine pills, bubbley water and flintstones chewable vitamins. The ER doctor sead I'm lucky to be alive.
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