how lazy do you have to be to be a fat vegetarian?
Just threw up my room service breakfast with my fake eyelashes and pearls still on.
i wish i could google "things to eat in my fridge" so i wouldnt have to go downstairs and be disappointed
no seriously. she's even got the premier of the real L word on her calendar at work. that lesbian.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just dont think you can meet a stranger after youve heard them cum through the walls though
Im not gonna remember this tomorrow but the real money is in coke i wanna get a dark wood desk and cell coke then i can own taco bell and the xxl chalupa will be mine
I just found a GIANT thermos of sangria in my sink. I don't know if its still good to drink, but its good to drink.
And in my birthday dress, with my friends, i peed on myself in line for the club. Still went in and partied. I remember pieces
It felt like he was juggling my kidneys with the head of his penis... If you could even call it that, it was more like a lochness monster. Huge and mythical.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well u missed Autumn's newly 21 yrs old sister flashing her tits and standing on the bar last night.
I'm not so good at organized events that don't revolve around whiskey or playgrounds.
I wore a bird inflatable and still got laid. So there's that.
I just want a man to crawl into my bed with me and never crawl out. Anti socialism at his best.
How is it medically possible for my urine to smell like espresso
What??! Dude I'm not having you barging in at like 2 am smelling of cigarettes and disappointment to sleep on my couch and then have an awkward morning with my wife while I'm at work.
Touché sir
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