Please, let me fuck your mom
How do I say "sorry I gave you and your sister herpes" in German?
got them to do a wheelbarrow of shame down the sidewalk after the threesome. I rule
it felt like the flash was giving me a handjob
Because the last time i saw or spoke to him he came all over me in a hammock.
The gym is handing out free condoms this week, motivation to work out this week?
couldn't find my pants so i stole a pair of shorts from the passed out kid in the corner.
Also I have uncooked pasta. I was hoping that could get cooked at your place. Don't ask about the circumstances that I came into ownership of uncooked pasta
Because she seems like the type to give it up for a box of fruit rollups.
Wow it must be so difficult to be as popular as you are and smoke as much weed as you do
I'm just mad because I can't play gta5 all day tomorrow cuz I'll be in court testifying against a craigslist prostitute...
Made a pinky promise to a lesbian on crack in WeHo. No one knows what I promised
That was years ago. And it was chlamydia.
He's 30 years old and woke me up for a hand job. Last time I go home with someone I met through Tinder.
I don't want a big night. But I am okay if we wake up in a penthouse at Crown Casino.
Randomize
