Buhtt sex?
Sorry, can't come over. I have to spend time with my niece. Her Dad ignores her and I don't want her to have male attention issues like you.
I mean I'm forever immortalized as the one who puked in his dad's straw hat.
Law school is ruining my masturbation schedule.
On that note; HAPPY 21: THE SEQUEL from the back of an ambulance!!
What can I say, I bounce back quick. Never thought the line "my turtle died" would get me so many free drinks last night
I'd rather make snow angels in a pool of elephant shit.than sleep with him.
he said he did everything he could to puke on his nurses because they were doing everything wrong
Thats admirable.
We invented this drinking game where you pick and random video and drink for every misspelled word in the youtube comments. It did not end well.
Remember the couple Steve and I heard and rated their sex based on the bed squeaks cuz we couldn't sleep through the noise? We got them back. They turned up the radio to drown us out.
I think he's speaking German to me now
Nevermind, he's just drunk and not texting properly
You had me on my knees catching cheese balls in my mouth and moaning. In front of all your friends.
I'm going to sleep with this bank teller and I'm going to enjoy it, just try and stop me
Your poor dick will look at you and scowl for all the abuse he's going to take this week.
Fun fact: You might be drunk if your vision is so blurry that you almost ask "do you know where my glasses are?" while you're wearing them.
Randomize
