I cockslap morals
May i just say it is extremely difficult to pee in a cape
He was crying to my sister about feeling like a bad person. Then he groped my breasts.
I had a party to get rid of booze. Woke up with even more. Will do this till I can open a liquor store
I wouldn't accept the money so he folded the $20 bill into an origami puppy and left a note saying "Not blowjob money"
I am compiling a playlist that reminds me of all my best sexual encounters. It shall be called THE MUSIC OF MY VAGINA'S PEOPLE
You made a course evaluation for your vagina? Wow. You really are a professor now.
My parents got me a bottle of vodka and a puke bucket for christmas. I've already used both.
Sooo Zach and Judd are on my porch drunk eating leaves and flowers...
I vaguely remember a drunken mid sex pinky promise to not let it get weird.
You answered, dry heaved into the phone twice, & then hung up on me.
You were in no condition to manage a 3-way.
Oh yeah, it was definitely the best sex of my life, I just don't think I can fix the kitchen table before my parents get back...
This is a mass text. Who in the hell shat on my stairs last night?
I'm a history major and he's the descendant of TWO presidents. Did you really think I wasn't going to sleep with him?
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