The guy dancing on me has three visible teeth. WHERE ARE YOU?
Ha i know. My vag can't go too crazy for a boy halfway across the country. It doesn't have that good of range
I cut you off after you tried to do a shot out of a neti pot, down your nose.
explains the nose bleeds.
i find it sad that i can no longer sit in the back of class for fear that someone will fart into the heater again.
chinese tourists just took a picture of me....im pretty sure i heard the bus drive say something about shame.
had to go back to that apartment this morning to get my other boot. it was tacked to the wall
So I think I might just embrace the awkwardness and say he fingerblasted her cause thats the greatest word in existence
I plan on being naked for at least 2/3 of the wedding.
Your little brother is asking me for an "expert opinion" on his dick size.
I'm not saying Tijuana was a bad idea, I'm saying that we make poor life choices. And Steve was robbed by the police.
Why were my jeans in the freezer of the mini fridge, and how long have they been in there? On another note, I found my teacher's ID badge.
By the way I peed in a mug last night cause you were in the bathroom and im pretty sure it is still in the kitchen.
also somebody did cough syrup and i was really worried but i couldn’t express why properly so i was like MACKLEMORE SAYS NO
So here I am, sexting at work.
I just kept eating and watching him slide down the stairs head first
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