We agreed on being friends w/ benefits. Lets see if that really happens.
Ok, so that was not supposed to go to u, my bad. I feel horrible.
i am already firmly committed to doing irish carbombs w/ 12 different people, and the st pattys day party doesnt start for another 24 hours. i may die
I just found a babydoll head in my sink where we ripped it off and did shots out of it.
Hes the only one i know who can talk to a girl for an entire hour abuot the science in starwars and still get laid.
I wish I could like. Pull my liver out, and put it in the corner of a boxing ring, put a towel and ice on it, rub it's shoulders, and tell it to "get back in there, you got this!".
I would've been fine if I didn't do the three shots
You did like 8
We had to leave after he was in the middle of the street yelling "Balls of Steeeeeeeeel!!"
Just got caught staring at a woman breast feeding. My only response was, "She's so adorable".
Would fucking the college coach be against recruiting rules?
I JUST WATCHED PAULA DEEN PUT BUTTER IN HER BLOODY MARY. This is not a drill. Real life.
To the point, I hope I remember where to put my dick when I finally get laid again
You have a 50 50 chance
"This is Emily. She likes potatoes. And sometimes laughs and cries at the same time, and has a wonderful butt"
Maybe you should stop dating for awhile if the chicks aren't working out. Reacquaint yourself with your hand or something.
Are you on your way? Get your date and black out with me. Democracy's at stake.
Tbh I’m not a vibrator enthusiast
But I am godly
Randomize
