before i could say "i'm not that kind of girl", i was.
I told her the white crusty stuff on my boxers was frosting not cum. She seemed MORE grossed out then
i got so high last night i cried hysterically for like 5 minutes because i dont have any superpowers
Well, that's a 3 inch weight lifted off of my vagina
judging by my wet hair I would guess I showered at the bartenders apt last night?
in fingerprint form on my ass. Seriously not cool. \ni bruiiiseeee like a delicate fruiiiitttt. Heeeaaarrr the rythymmm
he's doing fine. just headbutted the wall and threw up
I will not remember tonight for the most part. This text will be evidence. You can and probably will use this against me.
Tonight, a friend walked in and said "oh look at that. Drunk on the living room floor. Just as expected." this is my life. This is my life.
Currently siting in the living room naked, staring at one of the girls across the street in her living room naked. This is like the most intense starting contest of all time.
So are you actually going to come fuck me in the ass this weekend, or was that just you being drunk in a kilt?
You should hear the lecture my mom just gave me about cooking pizzas when im drunk because "I could have died".
The cop asked you after the breathalyzer what you think you blew and you very discreetly shouted "I'm pretty sure i blew Kyle on the way here "
just curious, were the inflatable penis' received? Amazon says they were delivered.
I managed to break 3 nails and loose my stockings, but I made 87 dollars at the strip club. I asked where I could find an application on the way out.
Randomize
