So my mom just called me into her room and showed me a condom wrapper she found in my room. "Oh that's from when I was like 16." I don't think that was very comforting.
anyone who has a picture of a ferrari with the caption "mAh DreAM caR" is getting denied as my facebook friend.
I tried to cut him off and he said "I was the president of a fraternity for 3 years, I could outdrink God."
youre not allowed to be friends with girls ive double teamed. period.
After all the hair products he's stolen from me, he better fucking be gay.
I meant to thank you again for giving up a potential interracial threesome to come to my party. I'm glad you stayed!
FONT CPME TO THE TRUK. I REPATE SONT COME TO THE TRUCK WERE GETTON FRAEKY
Hmmm. I never knew the difference. I've done either one and had stronger or weaker versions but usually if i took enough, i tripped balls. That should be a PSA for kids... if you take drugs and the drugs are weak, just take more drugs... The More You Know
You gotta buy me dinner first. Or smoke me out. Both are equally chivalrous
I just had my first lesbian experience. Out of spite.
I would have publicly shamed him but I'm pretty sure his tramp stamp did that on its own...
Went as "Party on, Wayne." And left as, "Partied out Wayne in a foot boot with new medical bills." Fuck Halloween...and vodka.
Well when you come back we can have a huge bitch fit...or get really drunk....whichever comes first
i had sex with a girl named after a fruit last night and it was the best thing to happen to me in 2020
I woke up in a warehouse with the words “Property of Adam” written on my chest in frosting.
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