So how do we make 4/20 better than every other day we are stoned?
He came on my chin and called me cumbledore. i give up.
I knew he cared when I got his text "happy birthday to the girl who gives phenomenal head"
totally just got a week extension on my midterm by telling my prof that I had just found out I was adopted
I was up all night on suicide watch. Dave was wasted and tried to strangle himself. With his own hands.
I wish my brain had a "congrats you just defeated the munchies" notification!
All I know is that your reaction after this date with him was "I think I did cocaine" so I'm sold on this boy
Remind me in the morning that I've now seen a guy do crack. That actually happened. I'm at the wrong party.
Definitely just realized I wore a shirt that says "building leaders for Christ" to a hookup. Roll tide.
Just saw a dude take a shot in the parking lot in his car. Too early in the semester for that
Oh god. Charles just fell off the bar. Didn't spill his drink. He's come so far..
you woke me up at 1am last night high on cough syrup to tell me jay z was an idiot for cheating on beyonce
Disclaimer- Don’t worry about my wounded nip. I put a bandaid on it.
I just volunteered myself to get tazed this should get interesting
A dozen naked frat boys in squirrel masks just ran by. Welcome to the official start of the holidays.
Randomize
