i am NOT doing that with my feet, or any part of my body
This guy sitting next to me just bought a plot of land off the internet. On a whim. In the middle of class
i woke up with my moms heels on underneath your couch cushions
you want 1 or 2 eggos?
i think 'regret' was last night's theme. i could taste it in my mouth and woke up next to it.
We discussed how the marijuana was making the dopamine float around our nucleus accumbens last night when we were high. Yet another example of how our science classes are perverting our good times.
great, thanks for announcing that I gave you head over twitter
at least I said it was good
My family just legit passed around a fifth of Maker's Mark. Also, this is sort of a Thanksgiving tradition. Also, Maker's Mark is really good.
she passed out facedown in my lap while I was playing piano. 11 years of piano lessons finally paid for themselves.
Guess what happened to me today at work?
I have chlamydia. What happened.
Oh lets talk about your news first. Mine is happy so it should go second.
If you don't get head tonight I will castrate you
Seriously. Castrate.
Found a popcorn kernel in my pubes... Time fir a Brazilian
yeah, I don't think I'm getting into the baseball game tonight. The security guard definitely saw me bowl over that child.
By the power invested in me i promise you hot wedding sex at my wedding.
I just had a sex dream about orange juice, so there's that.
What? No, wine isn't my weakness, I just love it.
Randomize
