Shaving your vagina at 8 months pregnant is not an easy chore.
She used the word "fragged" in proper context. tell me that's not bust-nut hot.
it's been a while because I don't count the hooker
They better compete for your attention. Dual to the fuck
Oh trust me, i am. It's like magic, but instead of rabbits and doves its orgasms- He just keeps pulling them out of nowhere.
on a scale of 1 to 'no sex' how busy are you this week?
You get to be the grown up. Leave a ciabatta by his face.
She's barefoot and topless screaming "HERE KITTY-KITTY" at a stray cat in the ditch on the side of the highway. How do I get her back in the car?
Stop calling dibs on everything with a vagina you jackass.
That should be the title of my autobiography.
Either she's trying to smother me and failing, or she just has a really bad sense of where her tits should go.
you must be at least a level 5 friend to unlock my sexual orientation
I'm literally spending $165 to fly to Arizona to have a sex road trip coming back
Is there a reason drunk me put drunk you's phone in the freezer?
There are flour footprints all over the house. Either u guys are trying to pull that Paranormal Activity shit on me again, or u got drunk and tried to make pancakes.
I currently hiding in an upside down garbage can please come find me
Randomize
