Mr ***** is in bed with his super hot wife giving her 18 inches of pleasure
Theres a baby at this concert double fisting pacifiers. shes gunna do great in college.
I'm starting therapy this week.. Taylor Swift music isn't cutting it for me anymore
you read me verses from the beginners bible until my answering machine finally ran out of time and cut you off.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You were pretty committed to that cat costume. Between pukes, you would meow and assure people that you just had a hairball you couldn't get out...
She called picking up at 2pm a matinee drug deal.
I'm stoned at 1030am, watching Maury with my exboyfriend. I need to make better choices with my life.
I totally straight up jacked your pants. I am so sorry.
We trekked into the state forest, laid the comforter down and he proceeded to tell me that we could stay here and stargaze, turned me around and fucked me like the lion king.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sex was great. Left his house while he was asleep but on the plus side I was able to get gas station food.
You're breaking my sexual little heart
I wrote a list of things I enjoy doing. So far it says "get high and go to museums."
I believe you can. But if you can have rum with breakfast then do that. Definitely do that.
ED guy's penis finally worked last night. It was a Festivus miracle!
Gave his drunk ass water, & he poured it on my shirt while saying "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!" When reminded of it today he replied with, "at least you came in first place"
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