Everytime we come here you have an ex here.
Let's just have a brief moment of silence for my dignity before we start tonight
Ever have a poop and think... that has no business coming out of a human? Like it looks like a sick dog's or a ferral animal's?
the guy that filmed erin andrews naked got 27 months in jail. Every man that's seen it should send him cigs and a nail file baked in a cake. We owe it to him.
He's paying me $45 to clean his room and $55 if i find the oxy that he lost.
It was mandatory to shotgun a beer before we were allowed to eat dinner
Is it just me or did a policeman park your car last night?
Just fell asleep during a bikini wax. Thank god for day drinking.
2 rounds of irish car bombs have already been taken to your 5 year sober anniversary
she just nodded and said "yeah, I'd fuck him for a reese's peanut butter cup". it's so nice to know I'm not the biggest whore living here
Last night all you did was whine about how you needed something new and exciting
Is THAT why I woke up with dreadlocks?
When I woke up next to him on the living room floor, my glasses were broken and it felt like someone rubbed a cactus all over my vag
I didn't want to leave, I wanted to move into his ass
I CLEANED MY BATHROOM FOR YOU!! betrayal
She could hold her breath for a long time. Best underwater blowjob ever.
Randomize
