i'm pissing behind 7/11. if you guys leave... i'll think it's funny too
Sundresses, hats, and big glasses. That is the greatest trick the devil ever taught women.
I need like a "Cookong High for Idiots" book. Or a car.
god damn woman. you are like the herpes of drunk texting. you never go away.
This guy just brought his piggy bank into the bar with him. Talk about corruption of childhood.
In hindsight, trust falling your grandma was a bad idea. Sorry about that.
speaking of creep .. love how I kept touching strangers faces at the bar ... and saying "Don't worry I'm a dermatologist"
Girl at work pointed out that the blood vessels around my eyes were all popped and I smell like puke
The most humiliating part was that I farted while he was tasing me.
Hey do you have any hot friends that would settle for less?
You seemed underwhelmed by my smooth, smooth ass
I'm never going out with the ashleys again. it was whoreible. terrifyingly whoreible.
Really though. It's your life, live it how you want
And I do mostly. Which is why I'm now drunk in my room writing erotica
how much of this shit do i need to take before i think its a good idea to set the house on fire and scream satanic mantras?
Or is it distressingly heterosexual?
Randomize
