But do you think a lot of ppl use facebook as a masturbation supplement to porn?
Let me make clear that I am not a facebook masturbator
I totally have a Rabbi on speed dial now. Keep it Kosher.
When you're about to leave, tell him "bye." At that point, he should say something. If he doesn't say anything, well, our drinks were free and he gets a free make out with yours truly.
There is a different car in my driveway. Have no clue how I got home.
I'm pretty sure my moms getting nailed in the bathroom right now while I'm chaperoning. God damn it.
I'm just high and in my robe and I would suck a dick for some pizza rolls. I can't talk about your problems right now
I just sit in the cubicle for 8 hours and do keagles.
I opened my eyes this morning, looked at the sunlight and made this hangover my bitch.
cops woke me up on the sidewalk and asked where my shoes are.. fuck if i know, im sleeping on the sidewalk! actually i didnt say that, i just cried until they gave me a ride home.
You told him about your cats? I told his friend to put his dick in my mouth, and you talked about cats!?
I never saw such an emotional argument over yellow vs. spicy mustard.
I'm not real sure what dinosaurs sound like, but dude, she made dinosaur noises.
I'm too depressed to masturbate. This election is the worst.
When we were fucking he called me by his moms name then after we were done told me to call him. He's not receiving a call... What if his mom picks up?
I Projectile vomited a massive question mark on Brent's bedroom wall. Don't tell him it was me. I want him to play the whodunit game.
Randomize
