i want to bang the Snorg tees girl.. shes always smiling ;)
You dropped me off at the wrong girl's house.
There's no such thing as a "wrong girl" make it happen.
alright see you in the morning.
Condom broke. Took her to CVS for plan B and parked in expectant mothers spot. I laughed.. she cried
I just remember taking her cat for a walk around 3 am then falling asleep in a slide at the park
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you realize that if you hadn't mouthed "we're getting laid tonight", i wouldn't have woken up with your ex this morning. just sayin
I'm considering telling her about my dream where I made a sex tape with her boyfriend. you know to test our friendship
Theres a guy in your room wearing a franzi box costume and some girl is in the box giving him head.
You don't understand. He was so ginger that he could make red hair a dominant gene. And I refuse to torture my future spawn like that.
What's grosser: using a dirty sex towel as an oven mitt? or using the oven to reheat superbowl bean dip for dinner?
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If you're asking how many times you took off your clothes and played with the tiki torches.....the answer is 3.
How interesting! I'm adding this to my list of things to discuss with you between fucks.
I woke up and found cookies in my purse. It's a 12/12/12 miracle.
My girl came home. i was jacking off on the couch and she just starts telling me about her day, as if im not half naked with my hand on my cock.
He sat on me and said I owed him $10, when I asked why he just said "lap dance"
I'M GOING TO FUCK AN ENTIRE ORCHESTRA AND NOTHING CAN STOP ME
The band club does not count as an orchestra
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