have you facebook stalked him yet?
No, I don’t know his last name...
Just google his license plate numb
today is monday, i feel like we should do something illegal
Empowerment dancing to Touch Me in the Morning by Diana Ross. Handling this breakup SO well.
I dropped my blunt out the window of a moving car by accident, tell me everything will be okay
Yeah her jello shots are the next closest thing to a lethal injection. That potent.
Last night was so embarrassing. I got like almost blackout drunk and threw up in my hand and then blamed it on someone else.
We're not piercing ourselves today.
Please tell me you woke up next to the hot one cause his ugly friend is still snoring in my bed and my favorite panties are ripped.
Wingwoman of the year. I'll buy you dinner tonight and a new thong. It was THAT good.
Fuck off I wasn't that drunk. I was still able to toss froot loops in the air and catch them in my mouth.
And in your bra. It was quite entertaining.
I'm trying to be sexual and you're sending me smashmouth lyrics
March Madness means a buffet of emotionally vulnerable dick at the bars almost every night. So yeah my vagina and I are big fans.
She just kept roaring and saying Katy Perry had nothing on her. Wtf did she take?
My ex husband is now my side piece. #thisis30
will a lunchtime blow job make it better?
How far are you from my house? Do I have time to masturbate before you get here?
Randomize
