I just noticed she took the "toys" too. That's how you know when it's really over.
I want to let you in on my two latest life goals. Have a photograph of me squirting whipped cream into a midget's mouth, and have sex on a roof.
Not much, really baked..... beethoven is AMAZING it's like i'm flying in space with baby jesus
This makes me miss penis. Not in a horny way... but in a sad, sentimental way.
I would convert to being a Republican and Mormon just to sleep with Romney's sons. The things I would to do them.
That's exactly how my pussy feels when I shave it. Like a cross between a naked mole rat and a newborn child. Embrace it.
As his dick went in he shouted GOAL at the top of his voice.
you should have seen it. it was just a bunch of guys in togas chanting the username and password to a brazzers account we all share. best thing that has happened to our group
We woke up in the room with a hamburger patty on the bed side table, one bun across the room, and the other bun under my pillow. Still don't know who ordered room service.
nothin like your phone freezing up and sending out old booty calls at 11am on a sunday. fml.
SOMEONE has to puke in the potted plants at an Xmas party. As their boss I felt it should be me.
Listen it's no longer the walk of shame to class when ur leaving the frat house and the brothers ask "when are coming back home"
there's crying, and people are upset, and there's a love triangle, and a broken heart, and so much estrogen
I had no plans to sleep with him, but he had to stay because of the snow. I always say, don't look a gift storm in the mouth.
She's celebrating a tinder-match-aversary and I'm not about that.
Randomize
