Tip #47, don't trim the bush when you have the shakes!
Anthony wouldn't know good sex if it sat on his face
Your mom has a birthmark right next to her nipple
and I asked her"are you allergic to condoms latex like your older sister " she said "Idk this is gonna be my 1time"
One of my friends found 6 bags of gummy bears on the roof. He lives a building over. Apparently even hammered you still have quite an arm
like we started out all organized and composed and within thirty mins people were throwing up in the bushes, arguing over a beer bong and jumping in the pool with their clothes on
He's really hot. I think he's gonna be my reason to shave this winter.
This girl can open a bottle without using her hands and she's 21. She meets my standards
My car smells like beer, you're here in spirit
I can't feel my tongue. And that means go. Green means go. And you know what Barney says. Green means go and woah means no. DRIIIIINKK
Do pleather leggings scream im easy on a first date?
Finally met a man who appreciates my beer pong skills, definitely a keeper for the weekend
my nose is crying tears of wow.
Stop getting drunk and running away. I can'tell chase you. Iim in heels and have big boobs. Running is a bad idea for me.
another side note: i'm officially selling my underwear on the internet
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