i mean you're really good at taking the morning after pill...so you could put that on your resume..
yeah, i think fast in a bad sitatuion and am able to react with appropriate measures
I puked in the cab and in my hair and he didnt even know
btw, her name was actually Alixx. in retrospect, it was pretty much a gimme
You keep saying things....but all I'm hearing is kegs
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was at that stage of drunk where it seemed appropriate to just make out with everyone. As like a greeting.
I hear you
I come back upstairs and she's leaning over sink full of vomit saying 'oh my god it's the chili'
You challenged yourself to walk backwards all the way to the bar... And you did
I swear she looks like a sloth.... I'll toss a coin...
you just won the triple crown of sex! your prize is more sex.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
walked into my room this morning clutching two empty bottles of sminoff to find my roommate's ultra conservative parents staring at my posters of naked men. fuck parents weekend.
Btw I appreciate you as a friend for taking the time to validate my sluttiness
We ended the night eating peanutbutter with our hands and smoking cigarettes in the house at 4am. Fucking Everclear, man.
New one isn't as good asmy ex. She won't put her tongue up my butt
Peter this is your "ex"
I stand by what i said
He just compared fucking my vagina to a snow flake falling on his forehead: gentle.... I'm not sure if that's a compliment or not.
Unless my dick prospects improve this year’s Halloween costume will include panties with “DTF” written on them and a push up bra
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