I just found out I have a small penis.
Couldn't you tell by how you've NEVER had a girlfriend?
Call me back. I want to hear your side of the dead cat in my garage story.
She just got out of the car and said "hold on purse.. It's going to be a bumpy ride"
Im positive, your name was on my abdomen, Im pretty sure thats solid evidence
It feels like im being cuddled by a thousand little smurf vaginas
I just put my hair into this ponytail & it looks hideous & really cool at the same time. I am dedicating it to the hangover I have
Solid teamwork gives us a good shout of both bringing home trophy cougs
there is nothing more depressing than your birth control alarm going off while you're masturbating, and realizing you've been taking pointless precautions for over a month now.
I'm just chillin on the bathroom floor
Haha oh no
The bathroom floor is like my second bedroom on the weekends
it's too much effort for something that isn't food.
Oh and yeah that does count as public urination.
Best case scenario I do a bunch of dirty things to you, blow your mind and you enjoy it. Worst case I stare at you, poke at you, smile and droll on myself, you laugh.
he came to me for relationship advice and we ended up fucking in my backseat
Ok, now help me add to my topless picture collection, i'm going to make myself a calendar
I hate to be the bearer of bad news, but yours is no longer the biggest penis I've seen. It is however, still the prettiest.
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