what i wouldnt give for a night at orourkes without seeing 3+people ive slept with
you made cement angels. it was a great sight.
The kid in front of me is videochatting and typing to his gf. I should make poop/sex faces over his shoulder, right?
i woke up, turned over, and noticed an assortment of knives stuck in my wall. i should prob stop drinking
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He was in me and said I can't believe this happened because of facebook. MOOD KILLER.
i dont care if it was her birthday. if she leaves me with a half rack of budweiser and her boyfriend obviously shits gonna go down.
plus shes a stripper, ive been with strippers, if you fuck this up your penis will never forgive you
I mostly enjoyed dancing with him because his boner was scratching my bug bites.
So that wine I told you about is vile...
That the stuff you brewed in your dorm closet? Are you actually going to drink it?
Yup. It's drinkable. Might go blind, but I've got to use my chemistry minor for something.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hmmm. I never knew the difference. I've done either one and had stronger or weaker versions but usually if i took enough, i tripped balls. That should be a PSA for kids... if you take drugs and the drugs are weak, just take more drugs... The More You Know
Invite that kid who wants to become a priest. I WANT ON.
You told the entire smokers deck that you were blowing .08 now and anyone else willing later
That's why my New Years resolution was no more blondes. They're all bad news
I just threw up a strange neon green substance. Did I eat a glow stick last night?
I’ve officially bought the ticket for my future dick appointment 😂
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