do not give him the "i just had sex cake" i repeat DO NOT give him the cake. things didn't go well
Riding on an electric horse at the grocery store... dunno how that conversation went but I hope you picked up a 12 pack.
jen just told me ur idea of revenge was saluting while letting his bong float away while attached to some balloons.
So if her brother fucks my brother, can I just tell her that anal sex is in her genes?
This is gonna be a long day for my vagina and I
It wasn't even dirty talking, it was more like the soothing gentle nonsense noises you make when you've spooked a horse.
Do you think if 10 year old us knew that we would be passing out in a McDonalds after a hefty night of drinking, and 23 McChickens, they'd change anything?
And I'm glad you're waiting to invite him over. he may have a weird penis thing and then dinner becomes awkward.
I'm sun burnt so instead of getting drunk and trying to sleep with you, how about we get naked and you scratch my body and rub lotion on me while I rub one out?
Getting high with your mom, but thinking of you!
I guess you could say that.. I mean, we did walk in on our DD doing a keg stand thru her ass.
there's no judgement here...i was recently just fingered in my dorm hallway while having a conversation with 5 people.
What the fuck dude?
Sorry bro...
YOU HUMPED ME FOR AN HOUR WHILE YELLING "I GOTTA ASSERT DOMINANCE"
He’s over 6 feet has amazing posture and went to Harvard and has an awesome job and a great dick and loves Jesus and is an organ donor
Is this the guy you have listed as free food in your phone
Noooo he’s listed as free food #5
It's so obvious he's evil. I mean, would a non-evil person have facial hair like that?
Randomize
