you know that hot chick that stutters? talk about an awkward orgasm
My life has become a never ending game of 'illegal or just frowned upon?'
She rolled over this morning and asked "did you refer to my vagina as splash mountain last night? "
She fucking ripped my chandelier out of my ceiling. How does that make her a keeper?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We should reintroduce naked Mondays
No it's okay, we're just driving to random places with the portable stripper pole and causing a ruckus.
Oh that's normal
"It's not a date, we're just spending the entire day at a concert and then getting high together." Awesome.
You have found the Promised Land of friend zones
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
The drug dealer had chickens in his house so I know it was good stuff.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How do you respond to a booty call from yesterday?
It's kind of awesome I can smoke with my parents and tell them about thetime we used listerine in that bong
drunk in woodshop so don't even say "I SAWWW THIS COMING." I know you're thinking it.
I cut him off because he was changing my thermostat every time he came over
You made the right decision
You lost to your mom AND grandma in beer pong last night. pretty sure that constitutes a retirement from the sport
I just want this to serve as a reminder in the morning that the topic of conversation at last call was the penis size of jesus.
Randomize