"what do u think of parents raising kids to be peeping toms" said guy on bus 2 me
I JUST GOT MY PERIOD AND MY VISA FOR LONDON GOT APPROVED! BEST DAY EVER!
I'm officially my mother.. Smoking in the garage pretending to take the dog out in a big ugly jacket
he doesn't care that i have a boyfriend so why should i?
logic in its finest
they duct taped my keg cup to my hand with my sister's phone number on it. I should be ok tonight.
Well we didn't hook up. Maybe from his girlfriend's point of view, but not mine.
Makin mac and cheese without you. Definitely seem to do this better inside you. Splashed boiling water on my cock
Just went trick or treating in my kitchen. Found chocolate and scotch. Happy fucking Halloween
I masterbated to the rocky theme song. I'm pretty sure that just beat any sex experience I've ever had.
lesson learned. Never drop acid before a trip to the aquarium. Sounds awesome, is actually terrifying.
I thought my neighbors locked me out of the building. Then I remembered I was drunk. PUSH AND TURN.
it was cool until he whispered 'sounds like you need a good dicking' with a completely serious face and i just lost it
WELL I DIDNT KNOW IT WAS POSSIBLE TO COME SO HARD YOU HAVE AN ASTHMA ATTACK BUT HERE I AM
All my friends are going on vacations with their boyfriends while I’m over here in court trying to get a restraining order against my ex....
He showed up soaking wet with a flashlight and a ping pong ball. I couldn't say no
Well we've always known you have a weakness for guys with balls in their hands
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