I've come to the conclusion that as a grad student I would much rather prefer to get laid then get drunk
I think you know full well that a few years ago my stance was the polar opposite
oddly enough my penis is pretty tan. the part of my body that gets the least amount of sunlight is tanner than most of the rest of my body.
I think its part of male evolution. Pretty soon they'll have diamonds on them and taste like chocolate.
even after i explained my bobby knight costume the bartender still kicked me out for throwing the chair
Good cause the way I see it, we are down to DAYS left of college so we should have as much naked fun as possible. And Jenga really facilitates that.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There is a semi-attractive guy at the door who's looking for you. Says he met you on Chatroulette. Start explaining NOW.
Dude this stripper just dry humped the settings off my phone. She earned that dollar
Remind me again why a vodka watermelon can't be a thanksgiving dish
I'm petting the cat while shitting. This is all I ever wanted
My motherfucking vibrator ran out of batteries right when I was about to orgasm. It's like he's possessed everything sexual in my life and has compelled it to NOT SATISFY ME.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She swallowed the key to the cuffs, I've been having to explain the pink fuzz all morning.
We were making out and truffle butter was playing in the background. I stopped mid make out session and said, "I'm really sorry but I have to rap Nicki's part."
You just managed to turn Dr. Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
people keep driving by and judging me for drinking natty outside in my underwear at 9 am. rude.
His mom came while we were asleep naked and started asking me about my plans after high school... Is that even a thing.
Sorry didnt text you yesterday. had to put restraining order on my ex.
Randomize