Yeah....I really appreciate it....I didn't even get it from hooking up....lame, atleast if a girl gets u sick when u r hooking up it was fun in its inception...
I keep pulling short curlies out of my mouth. Not cool
Remember when we were mad at her for brining her mom on spring break? She just won the wet t-shirt contest. I think we owe her an apology.
The cop was more concerned with the syringes on the dash board than looking for the source of the smoke. Thank god for diabetes!
These bathrooms are miraculous. I'd love to have sex in here. Wow. I've peed 5 times.
I have to date her we need a place to stay for tailgating
Your mother may get texts again about women putting dog food up their vaginas and asking for it to be licked.
If you bring home Chipotle tonight I'll give you an epic bj...ball play and all #datenight
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog.
Dude, my vagina feels like new again! I love antibiotics. How's your day?
I was amazing, unlike anything he's ever experienced. I somehow made him feel young and old.and he never felt old before. He feels I will literally kill him. With my magic, lethal vagina.
I only spent $42 at the bar last night, it's some sort of miracle.
you do remember it was dollar beer night, right?
That answers my next five questions
You don't feed me, fuck me, or fulfill me.
So! As of five minutes ago I've officially masturbated in every room in my apartment
Dude, I helped you move in yesterday...
Getting knocked up by someone with a good job and a big dick, okay. I can handle that. Getting knocked up by someone who sells dildos for a living and has a tiny dick, SOMEBODY is losing a pair of balls.
Randomize
