Christians are straight up FREAKS
I wish guys would just cum water 'cause you don't have to worry about being pregnant and it'd be like a squirt gun fight
she works at a police station now. i think thats the definition of keeping your enemies closer.
new girl just came onto the hall stumbling drunk with no shoes on and the guy who brought her doesn't have them either
next time we drink: battle shots.
battle shots or battle shits? if its the first, explain. if its the second I think I figured it out.
You've never even broken a bone. You singlehandedly disprove natural selection
Idk I somehow continue to get laid by pulling my dick out and reciting the 3 world country orphan kid commercials
How do I respond to this?! It's not easy to say "you're hot & the sex was good, but outside the bedroom you scare me"
The smell of mosquito spray completely ruined the sex.
What if he stabs me in the back, mid-orgasm, as I sit on his face? It'd be a miraculous way to go but that's not the point
In case you're wondering what frozen hashbrowns taste like at 4 in the afternoon, shame. They taste like shame.
What section do you want to sit in? The screaming girls section or the "when you guys were popular I was straight and pretended not to like you guys" section?
Blacked out and Irish exited last night. At dinner. On a Sunday.
I don't think he liked your vagina hand signal
I continue to impress myself. Also I'm probably pregnant
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