I just spiked the applesauce. Try to tell me again your party is better.
Well after last night it's official...I cannot die...it time to use this power for good instead of handle contests
I'll always be here to give you immoral support.
I wouldn't have puked last night if I didn't inhale straight pepper from you shattering the pepper shaker on the wall.
I am going to wait until he wakes up to set his couch on fire and then pee it out. That way he knows it was not an accident.
I just found the gloves and lightbulb I stole. Did you pee on a ATM inside a bank?
Shit dude that sort of wholesale destruction can't just be done at the drop of a hat
Carson when you get home I want you to go downstairs and go into each bedroom and pick up the underwear and either throw it out or give it back to the people who own them. Look all over the room. Thank, Love Mom
She said it was unconventional for me to yell "Shazam!!" when I came inside her.
Just so were clear your wife is cut off from my dick.
One day I'll learn not to get drunk on a plane. Today is not that day.
Hot date tonight for the first time in months and I just cut my dick shaving. PRAY FOR ME.
I'm so glad you haven't fallen off any more yachts
Why is there a horse in the backyard?
I stayed at my gfs last night. This is all on you.
Well, I like big penises but it's not like he walks around with it out or anything so yes I think he has beautiful eyes
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